When my daughter, Joanne, finally admitted to me, after much questioning on my part, that she had a 'girl friend', she promised me that it was just a phase and would not last.

I thought she was mad but I kept my cool in front of her and told her it would not come between us.

I knew this girl, Jackie, who had been her flat-mate for some time. Joanne had also told me a couple of years previously that this girl was in a relationship with another girl she knew. I was glad when I heard that the two of them had moved to New York - Jackie being kept by the other girl, Fiona, who was in a very good job.

Now it appeared that she had returned from New York and was living with and being supported by my daughter, who also had a very good job as a well respected financial journalist, whilst she, Jackie was in a very mediocre office job. However, it did not pass. I was angry that I had been deceived and that this girl had been presented to me and my family as a flat-mate. I was angry that she could be so foolish as to waste her time with an uneducated girl when she had had the opportunity to go out with many professional men who were all smitten with her (one of whom, a surgeon she had lived with and he wanted to marry her). I was angry that my daughter had put me in a position to feel ashamed and embarrassed about her. I was angry that I felt I had to lie or circle round the truth about her to my friends and family. Finally, I was angry that she was denying me the chance of seeing her married with a family.

I must have cried every day for years. I only told one friend about her and she was very sympathetic. I could not tell anyone else, except my partner ( later my husband) as I did not want anyone to talk about her behind my back. I also prayed that this relationship would end and no-one would be any the wiser.

Joanne and I talked about my distress often. She tried to reassure me. She loved me and I loved her, but I hated the way she was living. She just kept saying to me that she was the same person and it shouldn't make any difference to us. But it did. She hardly mentioned Jackie and where she went and what she did. I was horrified to learn that they had been to "gay clubs' and that many of their friends were gay and lesbian. I questioned myself and how she had been brought up. I blamed myself and the break up of my marriage to her father, thinking that if she had seen a stable relationship between her parents (whose marriage had lasted 26 years) then she would have had a good role model of a man and woman together, instead of a model of a father who was too involved in his gambling etc., to spend any time with her or her brother.

Even though her relationship floundered once or twice, to my delight, they went back together. Once it floundered because Joanne said she wanted a baby and Jackie flounced out. I thought she had at last seen sense.

At this point I found Kenneth and Mavis through a Helpline list. When I first spoke to Kenneth he was kind and understanding. He told me about the Support Group and I went along to Myma's flat one evening with my husband. I cried the whole evening. I found the whole experience so emotional, I could hardly speak. Myrna was so calm and warm towards me, I finally felt I could speak my mind to her and others in the group who were in the same situation as me. Others felt they could not share their problems with their family and friends. Others felt disappointed in what life had dealt them and others felt angry that they were being denied the delights of a wedding and of grandchildren.

The end result is that Joanne now does have a baby - a wonderful boy, Jared, who is nearly two. The father is a gay friend of Joanne's who, with his partner, are the four parents of this wonderful boy. Jackie really pulls her weight with bringing up Jared.

I have got to know her better and find that she is thoughtful and generous. She and Joanne are happy and want to be together. I have accepted the situation. All my friends and family know about her. I'm sure they are all glad that it has not happened to them, but I don't worry about that now.

My daughter and I have the most wonderful relationship, which I cherish. I am blessed with a gorgeous grandson who is a huge part of my life and my husband's. Joanne has blossomed since she became a mother and Jackie has become far more responsible. David, Jared's father, and his partner, have become part of my family. As I say, I have two sons-in-law for the price of none. I do worry about the future for Joanne and Jared. I just hope she will always be as happy as she is now.

I thank all those at the Support Group for their support to me at a time in my life when I was desperately unhappy. They made me realise that life does not stop and if you make the best of it, the best happens.

Carole