My daughter left home at 19 to (as I found out later) find herself! Some time later she came home for a weekend and asked if she could speak to me without her father being present.I guessed something was wrong and immediately asked if she was on drugs or was she pregnant? She denied both of these and I then asked her if she was gay.

By this time she was crying her eyes out and could only nod and asked how I had guessed. We fell into each others arms and both of us cried buckets. I told her that nothing had changed and that she was still our daughter and that we loved her very much.

After about 20 minutes, during which we just hugged and cried, she said she was so happy as I hadn't pushed her away or disowned her as many of her friends' parents had with their children. She then went out for a cigarette and to calm herself down and I went to tell her Dad! He just cried and asked me two questions:-

"Does that mean I won't be able to cuddle her anymore?"

"Does that mean I will never walk her down the aisle?"

When my daughter came back in she and her Dad had a long tearful cuddle (which answered his first question) and I again reassured her, and her Dad, that she was still the same person we had known 2 hours earlier and that we still loved her to bits. I asked her if she was sure about being a Lesbian and that it was not just a passing phase and asked her to delay 'coming out' for 6 months to make sure. This she agreed to do.

Deep down both my husband and I were devastated and worried about her future. It felt as though my heart had been broken in two but, looking back, this was because of all the things I would miss out on i.e. a wedding and grandchildren. Purely selfish reasons. She was HAPPY!!! which really is all that matters.

Later, when I was asked to help form a Committee for the parents of Jewish Gays and Lesbians I jumped at the idea. I needed desperately to talk to other people in my position. My husband did not want to attend any meetings as he said he didn't need to talk about It. He did really but, being a very private person, he could not express how he felt in public. I felt the opposite and needed and hear other peoples' stories. In the early days this was a lifeline for me.

My daughter now has a super partner that we like (not like some earlier relationships) and we have accepted her as another member of our family. Long may it last!

Although we know her future will be tough as long as she is happy we will be happy too. We love her unconditionally and are very proud of her in all she does.

Sue