I’m a Trans Parent: How do I tell my children?

Explaining to your children

The creation of ‘How Do I Tell My Children?’ was prompted by an increasing number of requests for support from trans parents who wanted to break the news to their children. This booklet has been put together by combining the experiences of transgender people and their families and friends with the knowledge and experience of FFLAG.

We know from the experiences that trans parents have shared with us that explaining to your children that you are going to transition is something that most parents worry about, plan for and sometimes put off for many years. We would like to give especial thanks to the Intercom Trust and Trans in the City, who put us in touch with many contributors by publicising the project within their networks.

In our experience, even if a child’s reaction is initially negative, once they get used to the idea, most children become accepting and have a good relationship with their trans parent. This booklet contains many quotes, describing how parents have prepared to break the news, managed emotions and maintained close and happy relationships with their children. The booklet also suggests further resources: books, websites and support organisations.

As Bobbi Pickard, from Trans in the City, says:
‘Luckily, as we can see from many of the wonderful quotes in this booklet there can be – and usually is with time – acceptance and in many cases that acceptance is gloriously absolute. Personally, I think that’s because exactly the thing that makes us so anxious about telling our children – love – is the thing that carries us across so many seemingly stormy waters.’

FFLAG’s booklet ‘How Do I Tell My Children?’ can help you to find the best way to explain to your children. Do look through it and find the parts that are most helpful to you.